Rule One: Refuse to show your pain; be apathetic.
Rule Two: If your apathy seems trite, get angry.
Rule Three: Don’t stay angry for long- it causes you too much pain.
Repeat.
Some Guidelines
Either avoid everything you used to do, or be prepared to recall memories.
Upon reliving an old memory, thought, or feeling, proceed to cover up your emotions with any of the following: loud music; surly attitudes; work you’ve been procrastinating on; physical activity; zoning out.
After the wave has passed, resume your life as normally as you can pretend.
In preparation for the inevitable cascade of memories surprising you when you least expect it (work, driving, crowd of people, airplane, etc.), keep tinted glasses and a book with you at all times.
Vehemently refuse to create more emotional attachment. Again, avoidance is key to stuffing until later.
Ignore the good things going on around you, because right now, fixing you is the most important thing.
Oh, and as for fixing you: That’s impossible. You are unrepairable. You can try, because you know you’re supposed to, but honestly, if you really step back and look at your gigantic failure of a past, it’s obvious how the future is going to turn out.
Stay narrow-minded and self-centered. Can’t make much of a difference now, anyway.
Make sure your communication is sugar-coated in nonchalant self-deprecation. Nothing says “help” like sarcasm and three layers of reverse-psychology.
When you’re done playing games for the day, lie awake in your bed and lie to yourself some more about your own maturity and spiritual progression. Since you know God knows you’re lying, it’s not really a lie.
Because in the end -after lying to God, yourself, and everyone around you- acting like a blog post dripping in obvious cynical undertones can give the people you lied to some glimpse into your head is only one more nail in your already-burning coffin. And what’s one more nail to a fire?
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