Broken. Repaired. Shattered. Swept. Edges. Curves. Pieces.
There are so many ways to describe a life, using our human understanding of whole, unbroken objects. In my case, I can describe my own mind, my own heart, and my own soul as objects, to be understood.
My heart is not whole. It was broken, many times, and now I wait for God, the One who broke it, to put it back together. My soul is His as well, and He constantly shapes it to His own will. My mind, although mine, is still under His authority, and should be kept whole as long and strong as possible.
Glass. Stones. Twigs. Droplets. Bits. Pieces.
However, because my heart is broken, I look for earthly things to piece it together with myself. It is my nature, and I have to keep remembering to leave the pieces alone. But still, I feel incomplete. There, on the ground, my shattered heart has found what it thinks it needs to complete itself. This person, this woman it has discovered, has become a piece of the original puzzle, and now lies scattered with the others, waiting to be placed in. Will she fit? Is she meant to have a place in the final masterpiece? Can she mold herself to the required form and become a permanent part of my heart (though I would gladly make room for her)? These are the questions I ask. And now more often than ever, because a sense of urgency has begun to break over the horizon.
Drafts. Sketches. Shavings. Shreds. Cuts. Splinters. Bricks. Pieces.
Now, more than ever, I must evaluate myself, and strive to complete the work I am given. Time waits for none, and so I wait in earnest, praying that when I am finished, I am not too late. Yet, with every glance, hope is renewed. With each sighting, as a sinking ship hails a rescue boat, my resolve is renewed. Though each time she leaves, another piece of my heart is ripped from its hasty mortar and I am left gasping for another minute, I am encouraged by the strength lent for yet another period of waiting. If, at my young age, I can wait for a little longer, could I imagine what wonders and miracles can be achieved when I am older and time is on my side?
If that’s what looking forward is like, it must be stunning to look back.
Individual. Separate. Apart. Fragments. Sections. Divisions. Pieces.
Whole.
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