The melody sounds again, echoing from the secluded cave-like pit that is my room.
It distorts amidst the competing noises from the television set in the den, and reverberates off the glasses and plates littering the coffee table. The strum continues down the staircase, weaving through and between computer chairs and couches, desks and tables, dirty dishes and unopened mail; through the living room and kitchen, beyond the master bedroom and laundry room and into the garage, creating a noise-sphere that resounds with echoes and waveforms and molecular collisions. It all crashes together in a symphony that trumps any Beethoven piece, dashes Hayden’s compositions, and explodes with an ending of which Mozart could never dream.
Without vast numbers of strings, or a horns section, or even a drum set, the Holy Spirit has descended into a room filled with the sound of nothing more than a man singing, and playing a guitar. The man is not even in the room- his voice is projected through a small speaker. And yet, in this tiny place, with this insignificant sound, and this lone man and his acoustic instrument, God has come.
I would like to mention that I was in the room. I believe it was my presence in the room that caused this divine meeting, else the man might have played his guitar in solitary.
It was the first time in a long time I have had this meeting. Attempting to avoid, I have been re-scheduling for years, and hoping the “right time” would appear when necessary. Unfortunately, these meetings don’t happen according to a pre-ordained date, so when, with surprise, I found myself face-to-face with my Creator, it was hard to pencil in another, “more opportune,” appointment.
While struggling to regain my composure, and keeping in mind the sudden inability to contort my features into a reasonable expression, an unexplainable understanding of unholiness grasped my throat and threatened to choke me. “Sinner, sinner!” the claws screamed, and with each reiteration the pressure tightened. I would have suffocated, had not the Grace put forth by God Almighty stepped in and threw off my attacker. I stood back to my feet and shakily inquired as to the purpose of this unexpected visitation. My very core shook as the answer came, as deep as thunder, as clear as lightning: “I have come for your heart.”
My heart? But you already have it! I argued in naivety, as a willful child before their parents argues for his selfish understanding. He responded with fierce Love: “Your heart belongs to Me, and I have yet to see it. Give it to Me in full, and take it back no more.”
Again my throat tightened, but this time with an intense fear of being destroyed if either of us moved closer. My knees felt the floor, and I was struck senseless, surrounded by the Glory and Majesty of my Sovereign Judge. Was this too hard a request? Was this too impossible a trial, that I would give up before the attempt?
Something gnawed at my chest, and an obnoxious tug caused me to stop and think twice. But before I could listen, a greater power overcame me, and I kneeled before my God and raised my hands in blissful relief. No more was the burden of my heart mine to bear. My heart was the Lord’s, and always would be.
Oh who am I that Your merciful eyes should fall on me A sinner a fool, who doesn’t deserve You And what am I that you’d offer Your life and die for me What can I do, I’m nothing without You, I’m nothing without You I’m nothing without You my love, my saving love So I fall into You, I’m desperate and weak Crying out from my heart, take all of me How can it be that the heart of my God would long for me For all that You do, Jesus I love You, I’ll Always Love You Jesus I love You with all of my heart Maker of sun and moon and stars
– Phil Wickham, Fall Into You
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