It’s another long day of sunbeat
And my head feels as worn as the sand
From the sweat on my brow, you could fathom
How long I’ve been walking this land.
For every pain, God heaps another
Until my back’s broken under the weight
And for once in my life, I can’t summon
My self-pity at my own cruel fate.
Sure, there’s a God up in heaven
Sure, He keeps watch on me, too
And He piled this great load on me just because
He’s got nothing else better to do.
What else is there for me to say?
Can I scream hatred at a deity?
Where’s the peace that comes with the knowledge
That my God’s “watching out for me”?
Is this all the payment I get
For the life I’ve given to Him?
They told me I’d have it so easy
And I’d walk the narrow, without sin.
“Oh my God!” I cry, “Where are you now?
Where’s the peace I was promised from You?
When they dunked my head in the river and said,
‘Sin no more, and do as Christ would do’?”
“Look at Job”, came the answer, “And see what he did.
Did he curse me, and ‘lay down and die’?
Is the life I have given so hung on your joy
That you’ll trade the eternal for a temporary high?”
Can it be? Am I such self-driven skin
That I’d lost sight of the goal that I had?
I’d latched onto the lie that living was now
And it spelled out what else lay ahead.
O, pitiable fool! O, timeless mistake!
Lift my hands up, and take it away!
O, my Lord, this life is not mine to live;
It’s yours to control- Mine to obey.
I knew, though it seemed I refused it
And I know without slightest doubt
That through suffering, I will break it
Break my mind of its unholy drought.
I offer the life I had thought was all mine
Burnt and shriveled and wafting on high
From the altar of God I will give Him myself
A bread and wine sacrifice.
Water falls and soaks into the dryness
Runs over my soul’s cracked terrain
And because of the pain, I will triumph
From my offering, Christ brings the rain.
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