What’s in a burger? That which we call a beef patty.
By any other name, would taste as meaty.
If ketchup be the food of love, lather on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
Something is rotten in the state of this egg salad.
O sausage roll, sausage roll, wherefore art thou sausage roll?
Let me not think on’t— Frailty, thy name is onion ring!—
I am a Potato. Hath not a Potato eyes?
The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Recook her turkey.
Leave not a grill rack behind. We are such stuff
As wings are made on…
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when the noble venison saw him stab…
“Is this a pair of tongs which I see before me…?”
“How poor are they that have not patience!
What ribs did ever cook but by degrees?”
Get thee to a bak’ry!
“Blow, blow, thou scorched lips,
Thou art not so burn’d
As man’s tongue!”
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your napkins!
A dash, a dash! My kingdom for a dash of horseradish!
O, my slaw is rank, it smells to heaven.
Shall I compare thee to a summer salad?
“Oft expectation fails, and most oft with the prime rib.”
“Nothing can come of nothing: marinade it again.”
Out, damn’d spot! out, I say!—stinkin’ mustard.
“To sleep, perchance to dream-
ay, everytime I eat chicken.”
My bread crumbs fly up, my bird slices remain below…
—
O, hot dog, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
1. Thou art funny-looking.
2. Thou art easy to digest.
3. Thou resembles so many diversely, yet digusting, metaphors.
4. Thou art situated between two buns, and slathered in relish.
5. Thou art stabbed repeatedly with a fork.
6. Thou art a silly shape.
7. Thy vendors doth sell thee upon their nasty streets.
8. Thy condiments doth live in bottles of various shades.
9. Thou art mix’d with beans and gravy, becoming “beanie-weenies.”
10. Thou art awesome.
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