As it is with the coming new year, and all-too-quickly-over Christmas ’08, I begin to ponder the immense changes that frequently occur at this time of year. So many tasks pile up, I am forced to resort back to stone-age methods of reminders, such as tying knots or producing bruises (or the more modern method- Write a note on my iPhone). Along with the countless things to do before the new year arrives, I must consistently remind myself of the more-than-plenty number of things NOT to do, to THINK, or to SAY (or not to). This complicates life just a bit more, and causes my brain to randomly shut down for a few seconds in spurts throughout the day.
Of course, who doesn’t enjoy the looming promise of pressure and stress? I mean, as soon as I step foot on that college, my life will have drastically changed from being almost entirely dependent on others, to being entirely dependent on God. In most circumstances, I’ll have to take care of myself, with no one else to be responsible. School, bills, chores, work, deadlines, relationships, future plans…it all begins piling up until I smother under the enormous weight of responsibility.
Well, hopefully not. I hear most of that stuff is a drop in the bucket compared to other things. I’m not afraid…only worried that I’ll fail before I succeed. (And I HATE failing! You know that little ditty: “If at first you don’t succeed…” Yeah, well, I killed the person who thought up that crap.)
It’s never as hard as you think. It’s never as complicated or intense as it’s originally pictured. I take comfort in this. But honestly, what’s more exciting, or scary, than walking out the front door you’ve called “yours” for 20 years, and becoming completely independent? Maybe marriage…but that’s not really scary. Kids? I don’t know. Either way, it’s a new chance to show myself what I’m made of, and then when I’m not made of enough, let God grab me and lead the way. He’s got more experience than me, after all.
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