Grown-Up (groan’-uhp) n. – a very snobbish term used by children to indicate a person who has achieved adulthood
Snobbish? Why? Why does the word “grown-up” sound almost mocking?
Because, well, it is. Children look at adults who have gotten older, and some they respect, and some they fear. What is the difference?
For the most part, once a child gets to know the adults in their life, neither respect nor fear derives from a physical standpoint. Strength, or size, or facial expressions, or baldness, or beardness…none of it has to do with how a child relates to the adult. It has to do with the wisdom, sensibility, love, and respect the adult has for that same child.
Also, the way an adult interacts with the child comes into play. When an adult can get down to the kid’s level, speak with them one-on-one like a best buddy, and understand them the way they need to be understood, the child will respect that person like no one else.
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All this babble is to bring a point across. What I’m trying to say is:
- I don’t want to be some stuffy old guy with no sense of humor who hates kids
- I don’t want to be some meek, mellow guy who won’t say anything, ever
- And I certainly don’t want to be the boring droner who can’t get over the “good ol’ days.”
But, when it comes to getting older, and becoming an adult, these are my goals:
- Wear outdated clothing and argue that it compliments my looks.
- Be “That Uncle” who everyone apparently wants dead broke.
- Walk around with a pocket dedicated solely to pop tarts.
- Be able (and willing) to cut a jig at whatever dance party I happen to crash.
- Never give up on anybody. Even a dead guy.
- Grow a horrendous mustache and claim to be Ulysses S. Grant’s descendant.
- Ride a unicycle. AND roller skates. At the same time.
- Capture every beautiful moment through some medium of media.
- Prove it’s possible to only brush once a day and still keep all your teeth.
- Regularly break my hip falling out of trees.
- misple werds an not fell bad bowt it.
- Prove God exists by my attitude alone.
Maybe that’s a lot to aim for. But there’s a lot of years for resolutions, and even more days in those years to randomly pick up a party trick and learn it. How often do we teach ourselves things we really want to know, anyway?
Probably not enough. Maybe I should take that rain check on growing up.
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