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]]>Here are the facts: Humans, and all other living creatures, have a limited lifespan. Trees can live for thousands of years, growing and maturing and bringing life to the space they inhabit. Some species of tortoise survive for hundreds of years. Dogs grow up with us as children and usually leave us before adulthood. Gerbils have fewer years, and insects even less. We happen to exist somewhere in the middle of it all, at about 110 years maximum, depending on where on earth we live.
The short of it is this: We all die in the end. It might come sooner, or at the very latest possible. It could be natural or unnatural. It could be at the hand of another human being, or our own. So why are we so afraid of it?
Because it’s the end of our lives as we know them? Because we don’t have proof of anything afterwards? Worst case scenario, there’s nothing, and our conscience is snuffed out forever. Depending on your belief, there is promise of an afterlife, a heaven or hell, a rebirth as another being, a chance to try again, reward and punishment. But this doesn’t matter in this life.
We spend too much time fretting over life after death, and too little time living this one. We are afraid to do something dangerous, afraid to try something new, afraid to take chances on people or beliefs or dreams. We blame people for accidents, make them out to be preventable, and try to take money from them. We expect safety at all times, and are willing to give up important human rights to guarantee it.
Let me tell you what life is: Yesterday, a man was killed as he went to work. He was an important man, and left behind many grieving friends and family. When everyone was gathered together to remember him and pray over him, a suicide bomber killed them. Over 70 human beings died, and a hundred more injured. This was done in the name of meaningless, faceless, religious terror, to people who try to make their lives and their world a better place. And do you know what happened after? More people came to the same place and picked up the bodies and treated the wounded. They gathered AGAIN, risking more life, to save life.
In America, a man died when his self-driving car had an accident. So to prevent this from happening again, there are people calling for bans on self-driving vehicles. This is our idea of safety. This is our activism. We stand and block the future for our mindless fear of death.
Should I ever pass away trying something new, do not rally against that thing. If others leave this life early, do not let grief cloud your judgement of humanity. The good of the many outweigh the needs of the few. My life must show this at all times. I hope yours does as well.
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]]>Human beings are meant to discuss. Often, we argue with another viewpoint, or choose to take something personally, or to not say anything at all. Regularly, the conversation is a meaningful discussion that allows all parties to leave with a new opinion, a changed mind, an understanding, an offense. All these outcomes are completely valid responses to conversations with other people.
But the there’s a new, dark cloud hovering over the realm of words: Fear. Not natural fear, from life experiences or personal wisdom. This is fear that is built out of ridicule, out of people made examples in public forums, of constant warnings by anyone and everyone and no one at all, repeatedly informing us that if we say something out of line, or even slightly outdated, or unknowingly insulting, that we are a racist, or a homophobe, or a sexist. And anyone who says these things is publicly mocked and shamed, and it’s okay to do so, because they said something wrong.
This is more scary for the outspoken. I very often mock people who purposefully misguide others, groups or companies saying dumb things, or very stupid individuals that I feel have gone unheckled for too long. I understand that I might get called out on it, and it’s my own fault if someone gets me back. Most hecklers should understand this. But, if I were to start heckling Bruce/Kaitlin Jenner for his/her words of blank-mindedness, there is a very real possibility that someone, or a large group of someones, would begin sending me death threats, attempt to dox me and my family members, hack my accounts and publically humiliate me, and more nasty behavior. If I was a celebrity, this might carry negative consequences for the malicious group. However, depending on public opinion, it might be considered perfectly fine with our current media sources.
Let me give you an example: In popular culture, it is normal to believe that Fox News and anyone who works for them or consumes their media is an idiot. (I’m not saying this is true, just what the current trend is.) This means that if a Fox anchor tripped on stage in front of a camera, that video would be shared on the internet in a negative light, with negative screenshots, negative heading titles, and a general air of mockery. If, however, Hillary Clinton were to trip on-camera, any video that managed to get out would be announced as a “human” Hillary, a woman who is just like us, with positive stories and her laughing the incident off.
This is not a political post (I hate both candidates equally). It’s a basic understanding of marketing. Read the news, and watch the trends. Is there an article thumbnail of Trump on CNN? 9 times out of 10, it’s of him making a ridiculous face to show how stupid he is. Is Hillary getting talked about on TownHall.com? They screengrabbed her in the middle of an intense speech where she’s snarling and looks like the Grinch. This sort of marketing isn’t new. However, it is more prevalent. There’s an entire internet to help sway your opinion, to grind down your worldview to match as many other people’s as possible.
It’s hard to understand sometimes, but people having different opinions than you is a good thing. If everyone thought the same, talked the same, acted the same, we would fail to be unique creatures, and robots would rule the earth. No one has all the right opinions, and we can’t all expect everyone else to agree with ours. Forcing others to believe the same things through fear and ridicule is a terrifying way to achieve nirvana, don’t you think?
Back to my original point: Offence is guaranteed. If I wrote about how much I like cheese tomorrow, and an Indian vegan lactose-intolerant reader happened upon my post, they might get a little ticked. Okay. Does that mean they have the moral obligation to send me a tweet and threaten to shoot me if they see me? Or does it mean they can go read something they won’t feel bad about? Every day, I read people’s posts about the most horrible things, about religion, or politics, or family, or white males between 25 and 35 (we get hated on a lot recently). But I don’t take it personally. I consider the opiner’s topic, its relevancy on my life, and if it is not relevant, I ignore it. Sometimes it sticks with me, and as a result, I need to get a second opinion from someone I trust. Yet at no point should I lose my civility and become personally offended.
I know I’m rambling. Let’s wrap this up.
Stop taking everything so personally. If you have a thin skin, practice shutting up, and it will get thicker. Grow a pair, become an adult, and treat others with civility and humanity. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has a different viewpoint than you, and everyone will eventually offend you. Deal with it.
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]]>I’m currently growing my WordPress mastery, and letting my “normal human being” skills go untouched for a few weeks. I’m sure my wife won’t mind.
The post Better appeared first on Of Psychology and Psychosomatics.
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