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It’s 2:59, and I’m still awake, doing my best to stay up. Why? Why stay awake, when I have nothing to do? Why bloat my day with time, and then waste it so grossly?<\/p>\n

I still don’t know. It’s a habit I formed about a year ago, and one I’m probably going to have a good deal of trouble breaking. I really need to sleep, and put an end to my thinking for the day. And by “thinking”, I mean “mental scenario simulations”. Constant, all-day “what-if”s running through my brain with incredible rapidity, making nearly every action a forced attempt to break the simulator. It’s stressful, tiring, and I want it to stop. I just wish I knew how.<\/p>\n

Anyways. Getting ready for the weekend (friend’s wedding), and waiting to hear back from a possible second job (tomorrow?) and then…well, back to the mental torture. Will work drive away the empty space in my head? I hope so. At least it’s something to be filled. Being empty is not as fun as you’d think.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s 2:59, and I’m still awake, doing my best to stay up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[908],"tags":[21,274,391,537],"class_list":["post-408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-journal","tag-21","tag-empty","tag-heart","tag-mind"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n2:59 - Of Psychology and Psychosomatics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blog.mattchimento.com\/journal\/2010\/11\/259-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"2:59 - 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