Colgate’s overall strategy was simple: Reduce product output, eliminate unnecessary research and production divisions, narrow focus to gum and toothbrush sanitation. Thomas was tasked with overseeing natural enamel cleansing research and development, and besides feeling completely out of his depth, he was elated that his company and the people in charge were willing to give him this opportunity.<\/p>\n

He was also convinced that, with each passing moment, the world as we knew it was becoming more and more aware of his disastrous discovery, and would soon need an alternative.<\/p>\n

One morning, several weeks later, Thomas pushed into the open cubicle area and began making his way towards the offices.<\/p>\n

“Hey big man!”<\/p>\n

His head spun quickly around to meet the familiar voice. “Oh no.”<\/p>\n

“It’s me, buddy!” The 7-foot Amazonian female clamped her hand down on his frail shoulders. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”<\/p>\n

“Brenda!” Thomas gasped, as he felt his spine compressing from her hold. “How’d you get in here?”<\/p>\n

“You can’t keep me out, little man!” Her laugh, a booming chuckle clearly stolen from a 65-year-old Swedish lumberjack, rolled over his face and throughout the office space, invading every cubicle. Startled employees poked their heads out and several toothpaste-smeared scientists peeked around the laboratory door.<\/p>\n

“Where’s my badge, Tommy? I heard you need a researcher!”<\/p>\n

Thomas was torn. On one hand, Brenda was the best dental research scientist he’d ever met, and her help would be invaluable on his project. He had once witnessed her discover six new forms of tooth bacteria using three pairs of salad tongs and scotch tape. On the other hand, he hated her. He hated her giant hands. He hated how she towered over him, so that everything she said felt condescending. He despised her bellowing voice, far deeper and fuller than his own. Mostly, he hated how much better she was at everything.<\/p>\n

But he needed her, for his success.<\/p>\n

“I have an opening in Cementoenamel Science. We need another pair of eyes on the new cleansing agent.”<\/p>\n

Brenda grinned broadly and placed her other hand on his left shoulder. “Tommy, you beautiful man. Lucky you found this whole thing out.” She planted a giant kiss on his forehead and strode towards the lab.<\/p>\n

Thomas gazed sullenly after her, then resumed the short walk to his office. He closed the door, folded softly into his chair, and cried.<\/p>\n

“God save us.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Colgate’s overall strategy was simple: Reduce product output, eliminate unnecessary research and production divisions, narrow focus to gum and toothbrush sanitation. Thomas was tasked with overseeing natural enamel cleansing research and development, and besides feeling completely out of his depth, he was elated that his company and the people in charge were willing to give […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[909,908],"tags":[1157,1145,750,795],"class_list":["post-449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creative","category-journal","tag-colgate","tag-fiction","tag-short-story","tag-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n