I am not a very fearful person. I don’t like horror movies, because they make me fearful, and then I have to think about things that make me afraid. Instead, I try very hard to do or say things that some people would be afraid to do or say, because I do not like being fearful.<\/p>\n

But I have always been afraid of one thing, and my fear of that thing ground away at my thoughts, and I did things to avoid facing that fear, often in desperation. The past two years, I’ve had to face my terrible fear, and I was surprised at how un-life-devastating everything turned out to be. I’m not a haunted shadow of a person. I’m not hopeless, directionless, and pitiful. Almost the opposite, actually. Kind of a “new lease on life” feeling.<\/p>\n

I still wish everything had turned out differently. But I think I can keep on living.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am not a very fearful person.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[909],"tags":[238,241,246,308,409,413,414,480,541,587],"class_list":["post-549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creative","tag-desperation","tag-devestate","tag-direction","tag-fear","tag-hope","tag-horror","tag-horror-movies","tag-life","tag-mistake","tag-okay"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n